Just my thoughts

I love you so much, that I feel empty without you. I yearn for your laughter, your touch, your wisdom that have left us so soon. At the end of the weekday, I will be another year older, but the pain still remains. You’re here, but not here to physically tell me happy birthday. I’m getting sadder, a little madder, and a little empty. Hearing you say that everything will be alright will make a difference. I know that He’s holding you real close, or you’re enjoying this time with your parents. Images keep playing in the mind, every bit of action that occurred. The words pierce, as I hear there’s nothing I or we can do. It’s difficult living in this lonely with just memories, that were once filled with many words. I will miss you sending me sweet messages that brighten my day.  I don’t want the tears to fall because the pain will come to life. I sit with a smile as my thoughts consume me day in and day out. This pain won’t leave, although sometimes I feel like I’m fighting it. I don’t want to fight because my emotions with fight me, even harder. I confided in a person or persons. Each one takes the my pain, allowing me to heal with each and every time. See, I think I’m scared, I think I’m going to break beyond my control.  I feel empty inside, that I let my words and thoughts consume me. I miss your wisdoms, your touch, and your laughter. I love you so much